I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
