seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Randomize
