she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
