So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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