U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
