You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Randomize
