Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
