So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
