so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Randomize
