I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Randomize
