If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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