Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
