if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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