I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
