Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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