I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
my poor anus
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
