sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
