small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
