im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize