She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
