First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
