D3 body, D1 cock
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
