You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
