she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Randomize
