She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
