He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Randomize
