at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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