If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
where am i from again
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
