i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
