Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
try to milk me bitch
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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