Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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