The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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