He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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