So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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