Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
