I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Just saw an old lady vomit in a trash can at the airport. I instinctively called her a pussy. College has ruined us.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
