I'm drive I can fine osifer
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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