just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Actions speak louder than pants.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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