Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
