honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
