He disabled his match.com account in front of me
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Everclear isn't food dammit
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
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