well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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