I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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