the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize
