when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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