if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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