That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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