Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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