DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
