im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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