is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
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