She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
