if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
